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I’m 20 days out from running my first half marathon. And I’m freaking out.

I get anxious just thinking of the race — my palms sweat and I get this tingle that starts in my chest and radiates to the tips of my fingers and down to my toes.

Sure, the beginning of the race will be exciting. My adrenaline will be pumping because I’ll be surrounded by thousands of people. But after about mile 3, my thoughts will surely drift (or rather race) to I hope I can do this, I hope I don’t get a side cramp, and/or My months of training better amount to something.

Yet, the thought of crossing the finish line after 13.1 miles sounds amazing. It means I accomplished my biggest/greatest fitness goal to date.

Then, I start thinking about how I’ll feel after I cross the finish line. Will I be content? Content that I completed the race — I did what I wanted to do. Or will I feel let down? Let down that I’ve been training since April and it’s all over in a matter of hours. Or will I feel happy? Happy that I accomplished something so incredibly great. I hope it’s the latter, but I’m guessing I’ll have an assortment of emotions. I just hope at the end of it all I am proud of my accomplishment, and I hope I’m happy enough to have a grin plastered to my face the rest of the day.

Yes, the race is 20 days away and I’m freaking out. But, there is still time. The race is not tomorrow, nor is it next weekend. I have time.

Time for me to get in some more runs.
Time for me to drink more water and less caffeine.
Time for me to focus on my running playlist.
Time for me to start eating more meals at home, instead of going out to eat.

There is time. I can do this.

I need to keep myself in check and hold myself up to a realistic standard. I can’t and won’t be perfect. I know that I’ll be next to runners that have trained far harder than I have. I have regrets with my training. I should have stuck to the schedule. I shouldn’t of had some week-long breaks from running. But now is not the time to dwell on the past, it is time to move forward and give my best. That’s all I can do.

This past week and weekend I made steps in the right direction. I went on a 6-mile run last Monday, a 3-mile run on Thursday, and a 10-mile run yesterday. I even made dinner this evening.

Now, the challenge will be to focus, train, and (try to) relax.