I’ve pondered this question for awhile now. At the moment, I lean toward yes. Now, hear me out and know that I’m not cutting you out of my life.
I’ve always had a lot of friends. My parents have always referred to me as a social butterfly because it’s easy for me to connect with people. For example, I told them the other day, “Hey, I think I made a friend in BodyCombat.” Their reply: “Don’t you already have too many friends?!”
I knew exactly where they were coming from. I have so many different groups of friends. These groups stem from elementary school, high school, college, work, and now BodyCombat. To put it in a little bit better perspective, I talk with and/or see at least 15 friends a month. (That seems like a high number to me at least.) Because I interact with a lot of people, weekend days typically have one or two things going on with friends — it’s extremely rare for David and I to have an open weekend.
Because of all this interaction, I’ve learned to how to focus better. If I’m with one friend, she gets my full attention and I make sure to keep my phone in my purse. If I have two places to be at once, I usually follow the age-old rule to see the friend who invited me first. Sometimes, though, the importance of the event trumps all — no matter when I got the invitation. For instance, a baby shower wins over a movie afternoon. But if I’m able to divide my time, I try to see both friends.
As I grow up, I find myself compartmentalizing parts of my life to keep everything in order and to be engaged in just one thing at a time. Perhaps it’s even a stress management technique. I’ll focus just on work during work hours and worry about say a wedding shower coming up that weekend after work and even closer to the day of. (That sentence may explain my procrastination skills.) The same applies to spending time with friends. If we’re out having dinner and drinks, I’m not going to be daydreaming about where I should go out to eat with my friend the next evening because that time is dedicated to focusing on you and what we’re chatting about.
What in the world am I trying to get at? Well…I suppose it’s this: I’m looking for your understanding if I haven’t seen you in awhile. I haven’t forgotten about you — there’s just a lot of people for me to see and catch up with. (Although, a hint every once in awhile when you want to get together is OK, too.) I’m also trying to find the balance between alone time and time with David in addition to all of this.
I’m not writing this post because I’m overwhelmed with all my friends. (I will admit I have felt that way in the past before, though.) This is more to give you a peek into my life and to know how I approach our friendship and value our time together.
To circle back, I do think it’s possible to have too many friends because of the effort you need to put in to have a quality friendship. But I don’t think I’m there yet. It’s just a matter of me working on the friendships I have, but still remembering the need to balance everything.
Do you ever feel like you’re being “stretched too thin” because you’re trying to make time to hang out with all your friends? What’s your secret for making it all work? Do you think it’s possible to have too many friends?