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On Sunday night, David and I were sitting out on the front bench (that I love so much I put it in the contract when we made an offer on the house), drinking beer, and as he would say “shooting the shit.” As you may have noticed around here, we tend to get into some pretty interesting topics (for some examples, see our road trip convos) — some thought-provoking and some that are just silly. This latest one was thought-provoking and I was curious where you guys stood on the issue. So without further ado, I’ll jump right into it.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park standing on the North Carolina side.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park standing on the North Carolina side.

As with many of our conversations, he brought up moving to the Carolinas. Again. We REALLY love the Southeast and our mind always drifts to: what if we moved to North Carolina, South Carolina, or Tennessee? I’ve been thinking I’ve pretty much squashed the topic as of late because I have a new job, I love being close to family and friends, and baby fever is starting to hit hard, but I felt as if we actually got somewhere with this particular conversation instead of just frolicking in our daydreams. We pinpointed exactly why it would be easier for him to move and why it would be hard for me.

When I think of what I want out of life, I value my connections with people and it’s important to me that I leave a lasting impression on the world through them (which explains why friendships are so important to me.) I’ve also talked with friends and I tell them I want to stay here and raise a family. They say, oh the kid will grow up just fine if they aren’t around their relatives. I know the (at-the-moment-nonexistent) kids would have a great life if we lived elsewhere because deep down I know David and I would be good parents. But at the same time, I’m allowed to be selfish — it would also give me a solid support system if we stayed here in Kansas City. I get emotional about all sorts of things and I can’t imagine going through all that in another state where it would just be David and I for a bit with no friends or family to turn to in person. I was emotional about getting a new job, even though it was a decision I made. Change can rattle me. Moving would likely do more harm than good. At least that’s the case with me.

David on the other hand values experiences. Vacation doesn’t quench his thirst enough. Instead, he wants to immerse himself in the culture, scenery, and food of a different place. And in this case, the Southeast. We’d be close to the mountains and we’d be close to the ocean, he says. I will admit that part does sound lovely. It’s easier for him to think all this because he doesn’t have as many connections as I do. That isn’t meant to come off as a blow, just a fact. He’s had way more experience with moving as a kid and as an adult, making it easier for him to disconnect and go. As for me, I only moved twice as a kid — once when I was 5 and then when I moved into an apartment with David. I never changed school districts. I never had to part with friends.

Although we come from different viewpoints, I’m grateful David understands where I’m coming from and he’s OK with us staying here. Whenever we visit the Carolinas (a whole two times total), I always say I feel like my soul wasn’t meant to live in Kansas. Nevertheless, my feet remain planted here. The pull of family and friends — connections — is just too great here and I can’t leave that. I can assure you David and I will continue to talk about moving and start right back where we left off with daydreaming — we’ll continue to flip-flop back and forth with our thoughts, but I’m fairly certain we’ll always land right back where we started.

Now I want to know what you think. If you had to choose one, which is more important to you: experiences or connections?